Why do you smile so much-e?

I have had many different jobs in Korea in many different areas: restaurant, finance, automotive, and of course, education...or what passes for English language education in the Land of the Moaning Clam. In fact, what originally brought me to Korea and what originally brought me so much contempt for Koreans was teaching.

I got in trouble once in the first few months that I was in Korea for laughing at an older student...repeatedly. This guy was an ajosshi in his late 30s-early 40s maybe; it's often hard to tell because when an ajosshi hits 28 or so (in regular human years), he is just an ajosshi. His wife hands him to 2 packs of 88s in the morning, and she won't see him until the next morning when she hands him his 2 packs of 88s. The rest of the time consists of smoking said 88s whilst doing some menial "salaryman" work some of the time, sleeping at the desk after lunch,  then getting tanked on that libation that would clean stains off your clothes and rust off your metal if you let it, soju, with those same sad sacks he works with all day....and talk about boring work-related shit.
Fun.

Now, I smile a lot. I just do; I always have. I think it comes from the increased amount of attention that attractive people receive. The first week of class at the hogwon sees a class equally made up of ajosshi business men in $50-$75 off-the-rack business suits (laughably, some with gold buttons) and university girls from the local women's university. It's like mixing household chemicals together: you get a really toxic mix.

So this guy asks me why I smile so much, this being the first week of class and we are all still getting to know each other, and I reply that life is great, nature is great, everything is groovy in my world, man, all of that. He nods his head in understanding at me, and dons the cringe-worthiest, smarmiest, most horrible pressed lipped smile that haunts me even until this day. Picture the artist Rain as a dried-up 30 something Korean who reeks of cigarettes and underachievement.

I didn't laugh then, but as the month-long class wore on I did...and often, and uncontrollable right in front of him. You see: from that personal revelation of mine that first week through to the last and final class, ajosshi kept that winning smile beaming at me directly at all times, from walking into the classroom, until my exit from the room. There is no way you wouldn't have found that shit amusing.
But I did get reamed out by a Canadian manager who had Korean management reaming him as well. That job didn't result in a second contract.

XXX

The range of this guy's acting is impressive. He is able to project so many different and uniquely complex Korean emotions with only his appearance. In the first picture, you have his "I-don't-understand" look. In the second picture, the incomparable "I-STILL-don't-understand." See how he did that, with only glasses as an added prop. This guy IS the Korean wave.

I feel compelled to post

What are you still doing here? Why did you come back? I told you that it's over. It's over. I've left Korea, and I'm back in a much better place, albeit with jack-booted thugs in positions of authority.

Then why am I still involved with that Korean woman? Well...that's complicated. I am not a total racist yet. I can't really break up with her because she's Korean. But she is Korean. Yeah, but you know...she's different. She's not the typical Korean.
You've said that yourself, haven't you? EVERY time you date another pure-blood Korean.
"Well, Su-ji is different. She's not like the other Koreans."
Like choices or lifestyles had anything to do with that.
Deep down, she's been brainwash, and they did a damn good job. You've seen the Anti-Japanese paintings done by nationalistic-by-nature Korean Kindergarten Kids (that's the KKK to you and me).

Look around you for fuck's sake! You're on the subway with a carload of Korean zombies, already too oblivious to other humans not to bump them out of the way, every way, each day, but now you've got them zombied the fuck out on internet tv, chatting, or playing some mind numbing video game.
It's too late...your girlfriend has already been turned.
It's too late for you to have her scared straight out of being Korean. You'd have a better chance with those religious freaks slapping the cock out of the mouths of faggots with their bible and proclaiming them free of all impure cocksuckery.
No. You can't break up with someone because of their race. it isn't like I just found out about it.
"Oh my God! You're Korean!"
I try to get away from Koreans, but:

ER visit with woman I was in the middle of having sex with in Korea

"Why you say bad about the korea? Korean people so kind. Korean people very friendly, but we hate the Japanese. Please understand my culture. We were made to understand theirs...repeatedly."


I don't have much to write about pertaining to Korea or Koreans these days. We keep our Koreans in line in the neighborhood I live in. They don't flaunt anything Korean (except for white cars). Well, to clarify: we keep them in line, but we cant really de-Korean them now can we?

You know what Baek, In-je says: you can take the Korean out of korea, but you cant take korea out of the Korean.

There are a couple of Koreans who live on my block. I had seen them around. The second that I knew they were Koreans, before I had even heard or seen anything to tell me they were of the Cookie-Cutter Race, was when they walked past my place. The woman looks up at my house, sees me in the window, turns to the ajosshi, says something, then they both look up at me in my window.

I swear that it took every ounce of strength and fortitude of upbringing, class, and superior genetics not to flip them both the fuck off.

That's soooooo Korean!

Ok...the point of the headline: I want you, the readers, to submit stories like the ones I write or even better, like Jake at Expat Hell write. Since I don't have much to say about korea, not being there now, I want...we want to read your stories. Email them to baekinjeshow@yahoo.com
 

What's with the door slammers?

Pet peeve number one in Korea has to be the door slammers. What's the deal here? Whether at work or at home, some Korean has to slam the door every time they come or go. It's like living in a country of Asian toddlers.
Two separate workplaces there were numerous door slammers. Imagine working with your back to a door that get periodically slammed open and closed without warning. Some of the DAKs open the door and let it fly, damaging the wall in back of them and causing a great deal of noise. I messaged a woman at work who repeatedly did this on a daily basis, and the return message was a laugh.  Of course, you can't complain to your DAK boss as he'll just think that the white guy, the foreigner, wants special treatment. The waegookin asked you to do something...ker ker ker.^^.
If you live in an apartment and there are door slammers, either threaten them with an impending beatdown or move. Asking them to not slam doors will not work.
If you ask a Korean to do something or not do something, even if it does not put them out (i.e. shutting the door quietly takes very little added effort), they will not do as you say, for if they do, then you have power over them.
That's some fucked up shit, but this attitude is pervasive in Korea.

And now, Korean Nazi cosplay cause Koreans think that it's HILLAROUS!  Notice in the first picture that the gun is pointed at the stomach of the fag in the overcoat. Those guys MUST have searved in the ROK army. (Who the FUCK does this kind of shit?! Oh...right...Koreans.

They are a stubborn and willfull people, and I guarantee you, if you piss one of them off and they can get revenge against you, they will, even if they have to tell bold faced lies that crumple on examination and they are forced to re-tell the lie, or simply change the lie right in your face.
The very first apartment that I lived in, which I lived there for almost three years, was quiet and had a view. It wasn't the most bug-free, but this is Korea; any older apartment is going to have bugs. I would choose bugs over noisy (and nosy) Koreans any day of the week as, as of this date, Killing bugs is legal but killing Koreans is not.
So next time you find that cockroach by himself, give him a good beating and maybe he wont slam his door anymore.

Scientifically simple

Koreans call it a "scientific alphabet," but if you understand hangul, and you can read it, it is a very simplified alphabet; more so than anything else by a long way. It is more like what you might learn by sending away to one of the pages inside an old comic book, next to the x-ray specs and Sea Monkeys. Think about it: 95% of the alphabet is rigidly pronounced, with only a few blended consonants and double vowels that are pronounced unconventionally. I taught myself the alphabet in 6 hours; a smart guy could do it less..alone....but better between shags. Yah, baby.

If you want me to teach you, email me.

Should you marry a Korean woman?

(Shaving her eyebrows had unintended consequences for young Ji-young)

First lets see where the comments are falling, then I'll write up the post. I will use your comments and/or questions when I write the post.  So I will throw the question out there: Should you marry a Korean woman?

Please Tell Me this Is Not Really Happening

 

 

 
I have been sitting here for several minutes thinking of something to type. Can someone please explain what is going on in these pictures
?