Monday, January 13, 2014

Farmers torturing dogs

I saw two big white dogs in small cages in a traditional market in Shindang, near Tongdaemoon back in the late 90s. It was raining. One dog had a tennis ball shoved into its mouth. A wire running through the tennis ball and tied so tightly around the dog’s face that it was cutting into the sides of its mouth. The other dog was licking his poor friend’s face. It was obvious that he had begun to be tortured. Koreans believe that they need to torture the dogs before killing them as they believe that will make the meat taste sweeter. They then burn the hair of the dog with a butane torch and beat the dogs to death. They used to sell the dog meat in ice cream freezers near my old house in Kyunggido. The dog head’s on top, prominently displayed over the hind quarters and paws. The dog’s faces invariably in an agonizing grimace.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Videos for acclimating the mentally handicapped into mainstream society.

When I first saw this video, I thought it was a video to help the mentally handicapped acclimate into society. I mean, remember that girl from elementary school who had to wear that helmet on her head everywhere she went because she was prone to seizures and would fall and hit her head, and the teachers and staff had to send memos around the students houses not to make fun of her? I thought this was the same kind of thing.

Seriously...I cant get past 0:50 in the video without laughing.
"Jumping! Jumping! Everybody!"

I thought that this was the way they got retards in Korea (I know, how can you tell retards from general population in Korea) to do calisthenics. I looks like they are retarded, right?
I'd whack-a-mole on them with 7 inches of flaccid dick every time they bopped up and down.

But I digress.

Then they are in Noksapyung subway station. I thought this was to show retards how to ride the escalator safely and buy tickets. You can see that they didn't teach them not to bump into other people, because...hey...if they cant teach the Koreans who are only socially retarded (i.e. all Koreans) not to do that they have no chance with only retarded Koreans, right? Right?

And notice how all the girls are short and about the same height, and not pretty? They lump them into categories and make pop bands like they did with The Monkeys in the 60s.

You know they have to wear those fucking helmets everywhere they go in public, right? How fucking annoying for those poor girls. You know there are entire groups of male groupies that want to fuck them with those helmets on.

"Oh, c'mon! Please! Just wear the helmet. It makes me so hot."

 I'd cream all over the visor. She better get that visor down in time next shot.


Thursday, November 28, 2013

You have a blue eye.

Oh...well, thank you or noticing. What am I, heterochromatic? Do I have a pirate's patch on?
If I had a baek won for every time I wanted to smash someone's face in for saying that I had a high nose, I'd have enough for my girlfriend's high nose surgery.
But Mr. Baek, every the Korean say you look like the Barad Pitt.
If I looked like brad pitt do you think I'd be in your funny little country teaching your funny little asses the language of your cultural conquistadors?
You have hair on your arm. There again: it's actually on both arms...and Mr. Kim, would you please stop stroking my arm? You are creeping me the fuck out.
Are you grow the beard?
No. This is what a man looks like when he hasn't shaved for a few days. This is man style, not that Chosun dynasty official look, this shit gets Grizzly Adams....again, like a real man gets.

Remember: women will always go for the most attractive man before getting married, then settle on a less attractive man. Men will fuck every women that they can get their dicks on, but settle for a more attractive woman for a wife, i.e. you'll be banging a lot of 4s and 5s before you settle on the 8.

Now think about the above paragraph and the huge implications of your being in Korea. If you get it, post in the comments.